Real Marriage?

March 13, 2015 on 12:46 pm | In Oh Yeah, Poly Tics, Relationships, Religion | No Comments

I received an email this morning titled A Nail In The Coffin?

Which was about… oh heck, I will just leave you read some of it:

“Is time running out on Real Marriage in America?

Will the Supreme Court drive another nail in the coffin of Real Marriage after it hears arguments on homosexual “marriage” next month?

Or will pro-Family Americans rally to demand our nation’s highest court mark a historic turning point by siding with the Sixth Circuit’s ruling on behalf of Real Marriage?”

From a letter from Public Advocate. I have really no idea how I really got on their list, I do get a few conservative emails mainly because I was kinda interested in what they had to say and it has snow balled from there. The original mailing lists were almost center of the road. But over time the ones that have been added (I assume by sale of my email address) have gotten very right wing conservative and people hating.

But I digress, this is not about email addresses being sold. It is about, what is real marriage?

That depends on where and in what time you have lived in:

Perhaps if you lived 4000 years ago and you were female, your father would make a deal with the rich man and you were just forced to go with them in what was called marriage. Or maybe you lived somewhere else and your family could not afford to pay a bride price for you to get a better off man somewhere.

Or perhaps if you were a male you had 2 or maybe even a dozen and more wives. Or like Solomon you were mega wealthy and had something like  300 wives and what was it, 900 concubines.


One man and many wives as he could afford has been pretty much a standard throughout history. If you could not afford more then one wife there had to be be something wrong with you.


Or perhaps if you were female and grew up as late as the 1960’s in the US of A, in the south you were likely to be married to a man by the time you were 14?


Poor though out the centuries have not had recognized marriages as far a the state was concerned. Most of them were marriages because of the simple fact the couple chose to live together.


Some communities used handfasting ceremonies to declare a commitment to each other some times for life but often times for a year and a day.


What is real marriage? I would suggest to you that a real marriage exists when two (some will say even more then two, I will not argue for either interpretation here) consenting age persons consent to wanting to make a public acknowledge of what they hope will be a life long commitment to each other. And that it is, valid, be it a man and a woman.  Or a woman and a woman. Or a man and a man. Or even other more complicated arrangements due to the biological make up of individuals.


Real marriage is what happens when two people love each other so much that they want to publicly commit to that person. The Public Advocate and many others have it wrong when they talk about real marriage because what defines marriage changes from culture to culture and from one time to an other time.

Regardless of what you believe your real mate should be, someone else likely sees what their real mate as something else. But come on, isn’t that as it should be? Or all the men in the world would want, Halle Berry. And all the women in the world would want, Harrison Ford. Wouldn’t that be a messed up world?

Okay, I can just hear the shouts by religious conservative Christians that I should be stoned for such blasphemy.   But what does the Bible really say? That answer is not so easy to answer. I would urge you to start here: and then study farther as you see fit.

As a Christian, I feel that it is a Christians duty to know why they believe what they believe. And it is just as important for Christians to look at opposing viewpoints and see if they may be valid. And if there is any possible question to what they believe they need to always error on the side of mercy.

Just as importantly religious conservatives need to understand that marriage today is not a church contract but a civil contract.

If you have religious problems with same sex marriage then perhaps you need to look at barring your pastor, priest, etc from performing marriages as an agent of the state.


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